Comments on: Are you really free to choose? http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/personal-development/are-you-really-free-to-choose/ Sun, 05 Feb 2012 23:08:13 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Anth Quinn http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/personal-development/are-you-really-free-to-choose/#comment-177 Anth Quinn Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:42:16 +0000 http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/?p=49#comment-177 DaveB, I really do appreciate what it’s like being stuck in a job you don’t enjoy and to feel like you have to stay because you need the money and maybe this article will give you a clue as to get yourself “unstuck”. I guess you might not like the idea that you are there by choice after all it can be a bit of a tough wake up call and the answer isn’t always immediately obvious. However recognising you are choosing to be there really is crucial because it puts you at cause in your life! Being at cause means you have choices and you can get the best out of them by asking yourself better questions. Remember that you are not stuck in that job forever; there are millions of other jobs out there in the world. How do you think your experience would be different if you were to recognise that your current job is a temporary stepping stone to something else? What could it teach you? Maybe you could exercise those skills in a job you’d enjoy more. At the end of the day nobody can tell you, it’s your life and you have to choose how you will live it. There are many ways out and one that is time-proven is to educate yourself out. Millions of people have done just that! And this is only one approach. I would suggest you don’t need anything special like a magic wand but you would benefit from talking to some people about possible options, developing a plan and get busy working on it. It might take a few years but it is a lot better than the alternative of thinking you have no choice. After all even if it took 5 years of working your plan to get out, you’d still be out wouldn’t you? So when you going to start? Anth. DaveB,

I really do appreciate what it’s like being stuck in a job you don’t enjoy and to feel like you have to stay because you need the money and maybe this article will give you a clue as to get yourself “unstuck”.

I guess you might not like the idea that you are there by choice after all it can be a bit of a tough wake up call and the answer isn’t always immediately obvious. However recognising you are choosing to be there really is crucial because it puts you at cause in your life!

Being at cause means you have choices and you can get the best out of them by asking yourself better questions.

Remember that you are not stuck in that job forever; there are millions of other jobs out there in the world. How do you think your experience would be different if you were to recognise that your current job is a temporary stepping stone to something else? What could it teach you? Maybe you could exercise those skills in a job you’d enjoy more. At the end of the day nobody can tell you, it’s your life and you have to choose how you will live it.

There are many ways out and one that is time-proven is to educate yourself out. Millions of people have done just that! And this is only one approach. I would suggest you don’t need anything special like a magic wand but you would benefit from talking to some people about possible options, developing a plan and get busy working on it.

It might take a few years but it is a lot better than the alternative of thinking you have no choice. After all even if it took 5 years of working your plan to get out, you’d still be out wouldn’t you?

So when you going to start?

Anth.

]]> By: Olivia http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/personal-development/are-you-really-free-to-choose/#comment-174 Olivia Mon, 28 Apr 2008 00:00:38 +0000 http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/?p=49#comment-174 I am beginning to accept your words as my mantra... transforming your message into a habitual part of my life. I am beginning to accept your words as my mantra… transforming your message into a habitual part of my life.

]]> By: Felicity http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/personal-development/are-you-really-free-to-choose/#comment-167 Felicity Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:29:58 +0000 http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/?p=49#comment-167 Ottavina - From my experience making the choice to focus on something positive or giving yourself permission to deliberately distract yourself from a negative situation can be helpful. For example as someone with skills, abilities, and education for a specific role but is either missing out on opportunities or simply not finding opportunities to undertake that role in any circumstance at all calls for the ultimate in perseverance. So one could focus on the perseverance you are exercising and developing during what is a very difficult time. While persevering in the search for the appropriate position it is important to focus on the tangible benefits of what you are seeking, and sometimes necessary to delay your search. With respect to deliberate distraction - try give yourself permission to take a breather and get a different perspective (doing anything that distracts you, for me it is zoning out by window shopping, meditating (not on the issue but on something else important to you, or watching a good film). In whatever way you can put some distance (physical, mental, or spiritual) between you and the objective! My experience has been that using these strategies I find truth in the statement "this too shall pass". Another thing I have found helpful is to change just one thing about your situation. So for instance when I have procrastinated over cleaning up at home I will move a chair or give myself permission to vaccum one room or empty one bin. Sometimes that one positive action is satisfying enough to spur me on to make another positive action. Ottavina - From my experience making the choice to focus on something positive or giving yourself permission to deliberately distract yourself from a negative situation can be helpful. For example as someone with skills, abilities, and education for a specific role but is either missing out on opportunities or simply not finding opportunities to undertake that role in any circumstance at all calls for the ultimate in perseverance. So one could focus on the perseverance you are exercising and developing during what is a very difficult time. While persevering in the search for the appropriate position it is important to focus on the tangible benefits of what you are seeking, and sometimes necessary to delay your search. With respect to deliberate distraction - try give yourself permission to take a breather and get a different perspective (doing anything that distracts you, for me it is zoning out by window shopping, meditating (not on the issue but on something else important to you, or watching a good film). In whatever way you can put some distance (physical, mental, or spiritual) between you and the objective! My experience has been that using these strategies I find truth in the statement “this too shall pass”.

Another thing I have found helpful is to change just one thing about your situation. So for instance when I have procrastinated over cleaning up at home I will move a chair or give myself permission to vaccum one room or empty one bin. Sometimes that one positive action is satisfying enough to spur me on to make another positive action.

]]> By: Ottavina http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/personal-development/are-you-really-free-to-choose/#comment-165 Ottavina Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:09:26 +0000 http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/?p=49#comment-165 Jan - what if you have the skills, abilities, and education, but still have not been able to get the appropriate job? Jan - what if you have the skills, abilities, and education, but still have not been able to get the appropriate job?

]]> By: Jan http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/personal-development/are-you-really-free-to-choose/#comment-164 Jan Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:43:45 +0000 http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/?p=49#comment-164 Dear Dave, We work with individuals who are terminated from their jobs. Many times these individuals did not really like their job, like you, they stayed for the money and the security. What we have learned is that everyone does have a choice. Think about the job you would really like. What skills, abilities and education do you need to move into that job? Have you talked to your employer about courses to improve your skills? If your employer does not pay for courses, check at a local community college for courses. Also, think about finding a mentor. Someone who can help you work towards the job that you want. Perhaps, someone who is in the field you want to work in. Depending on your circumstance, you may need to take small steps at first but continue to work towards getting the job you really want no matter how small the initial steps. Good luck in achieving your dreams. Dear Dave, We work with individuals who are terminated from their jobs. Many times these individuals did not really like their job, like you, they stayed for the money and the security. What we have learned is that everyone does have a choice. Think about the job you would really like. What skills, abilities and education do you need to move into that job? Have you talked to your employer about courses to improve your skills? If your employer does not pay for courses, check at a local community college for courses. Also, think about finding a mentor. Someone who can help you work towards the job that you want. Perhaps, someone who is in the field you want to work in. Depending on your circumstance, you may need to take small steps at first but continue to work towards getting the job you really want no matter how small the initial steps. Good luck in achieving your dreams.

]]> By: Dave B http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/personal-development/are-you-really-free-to-choose/#comment-163 Dave B Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:10:47 +0000 http://empiricalcoaching.com/blog/?p=49#comment-163 All very nice, but what about people who are stuck in jobs they don't like and have no choice because they need the money? Dave. All very nice, but what about people who are stuck in jobs they don’t like and have no choice because they need the money?

Dave.

]]>